Tag: Writing
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The wonders of modern technology, combined with a rather generous budget, mean that the set of Pop Watch now boasts an ever-changing virtual backdrop and as the theme tune fades for the start of today’s programme, Bright Diamond Davies is ‘standing’ on the surface of the Sun.
‘Here are we are once again, friends of mine from everywhere – Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey! – and a massive, mad and massively mad welcome to this week’s Pop Watch.’
Camera One cuts to a close shot of Bright Diamond and he suddenly looks very, very sad.
‘I have bad news, my many friends, bad, bad news indeed.’ Bright Diamond pauses for effect and then continues sadly, ‘the worst news that you will ever have the misfortune to hear.’
Cut to Camera Two as the lights dim and Bright Diamond’s face is caught in a haunting spotlight. He sighs.
‘I’m sorry to have to be the one who has to tell you this but…’
Bright Diamond is a master of manipulation and this particular moment to milk is a moment to milk unlike any other moment milked in the history of milked moments.
‘We…
Are…
Only…
Joined…
Today…
By…
Those…
Happy…
Dappy…
Popsters…’
He pauses a final tiny time
‘Doodah!!!!!!!!!!!
Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero
She couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell
If universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow
If POP is more your thing then why not follow the world’s greatest band Doodah on Twitter @deirdredoodah
For the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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Pop Watch is twenty-five years old and though it hasn’t always had its finger on the right pulse, it has at least been around long enough to occasionally get things right. The episode just beginning now is one of those occasions.
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
As the opening credits roll, we see a mass of silhouetted dancers furiously stepping to the recently remixed theme tune sung, as always, by The Pop Watchers.
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Currently hosted by everyone’s latest favourite presenter, Bright Diamond Davies, Pop Watch is a weekly rundown of downloads, hit tunes, interviews, games, jokes and other very jolly popular things that the show’s ageing producers hope will one day make it the most popular music show around.
From his early days as an onscreen scenery shifter via a brief stint as a midnight weather man, Bright Diamond Davies has now found what he hopes is his big break and is determined to do everything he possibly can to make himself a permanent fixture on Pop Watch.
Sparkling fake diamonds stud a baseball cap which Bright Diamond continually repositions live on air, causing the studio lights to diffuse from the top of his head in a thousand blinding directions all at once.
Everyone on television needs a catch phrase and Bright Diamond punctuates every sentence with the now legendary (but not always for the right reasons) ‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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In one of Ellis’s favourite adventures, The Circus has Lost a Clown, there is a moment when Pearly stands still in front of the visiting circus tent until an idea about what to do next comes to her ‘like a bolt out of the blue’.
Now, Ellis wasn’t so sure that she liked the idea of a bolt coming at her out of the blue, whatever and wherever that was, but she thought that if she just stood and stared at the house for a while then she might start to have an idea about what she needed to do next.
So Ellis stood and she stared. She stared and she stood. It wasn’t long before she started to think that just standing and staring wasn’t really going to help her get very far.
So Ellis stood and worried. She worried and she stood and just when she thought that this standing and staring and worrying was becoming too much, something caught her eye.
Tucked beneath the doormat and half-hidden by the evening shadows, Ellis saw a piece of very curious-looking paper. It was yellow with big black writing on it. She bent down to pick it up. It was a backstage pass for Doodah’s homecoming concert at seven o’clock that evening at the Panic Town Stadium.
‘Falcon Boy,’ Ellis whispered. ‘I think I’ve found something useful.’
‘Well done,’ said Falcon Boy. ‘What is it?’
‘It is a backstage pass for tonight’s Doodah concert,’ she replied.
After thirty-three shows in seventeen days, Panic Town’s finest popular music combination act, or Doodah, as they are known to their millions of adoring fans, were set to play the final concert in their Loving You Loving Us Tour that evening at the Panic Town Stadium.
According to the advance publicity, the show promised to be ‘the show to end all shows’ (a claim that could be taken in more ways than one).
Ellis thought for a moment.
‘I’ll have to go there next, won’t I?’ she asked Falcon Boy.
‘You will,’ he replied, trying to sound sagely. ‘A clue this obvious is something that no one can afford to ignore. You’ll have to see what happens when you get there.’
‘You’re right,’ said Ellis. ‘I have no choice.’
‘You’re right,’ said Falcon Boy. ‘You have no choice.’
They are both right. Ellis really had no choice.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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‘I would have to have a fountain in the front garden,’ Ellis reasoned. ‘That would look good and I could colour the water with lights for special occasions.
‘There would have to be a landing pad on the roof because by the time I am grown up, everyone will have a flying car. And I would definitely need a network of secret tunnels all linked up and leading to the sort of places that only superheroes and their friends would need to go.
‘Also a laboratory,’ she decided. ‘I would have to look at fingerprints and other clues, and would need a row of white coats hanging on hooks as well as a wall full of computer screens. And everyone needs a radar room complete with a built-in periscope/telescope combination, and a computer disguised as a television disguised as a bookshelf.
‘Maybe even a sliding chute for a quick escape built into the bathroom for when enemies threatened to put a stop to my crime fighting? The front door could also be invisible so that only invited guests, fellow crime fighters, clue solvers and not forgetting of course, family and friends, could visit.
‘I’m also going to need a hammock swinging in a very quiet part of the garden, so that I can get plenty of rest between adventures and meditate when the wickedness of the world momentarily gets too much for me and I need to unwind.’
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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Falcon Boy’s house was inside a small close beside the Panic Town Park and Ornamental Gardens. A high hedge surrounded the house and Falcon Boy was convinced that this hedge is the one thing that was stopping hordes of well-wishers and autograph-hunters from knocking on the door.
The house was pink-painted stone with blue clematis following a trellis up and over the porch. There were two windows on the ground floor either side of the front door and two windows above them. Each window was neatly finished with net curtains.
The bright red front door clashed with the pink walls. A handmade sign stuck on the metal flap of the letterbox read ‘Well-Wishers and Autograph-Seekers Always Welcome’.
You would imagine that a very old lady shared this house with a small waddling dog named Prince, who is fond of minced chicken breast and fresh cream. You would never suspect that two superheroes intent on making the world a better place called this home. This got Ellis thinking.
Ellis wanted to be a mechanic or a vet when she grew up, but if it ever so happened that she changed her mind and decided to become a superhero like Falcon Boy or a master detective like Pearly Stockwell who, incidentally, lived in a converted lighthouse that she first inherited from a long-lost relative in Pearly Stockwell and the Letter from the Past, Ellis thought that she would probably need something more impressive than this cute-looking doll’s house of a house.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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Finally, if you are still here at this point and haven’t given up reading in protest over the first three options, perhaps Option Number Four is the best option on offer today. I certainly hope that it is very attractive as an option or indeed, as attractive as an option ever can be because, after all, it is only an option and the whole point of an option is exactly that; it is only an option.
Anyway, for this option, I am asking you to choose to use your imagination and decide for yourself how Ellis manages to get from her house to Falcon Boy’s.
Now, I don’t want to put too much pressure on you if you choose this option, but you must understand that the rest of the story isn’t really going to work if you don’t manage to get Ellis from here to there so be sure to give it your best shot.
You may have to deal with some slight technical or even ethical issues, but I’m sure that you will manage somehow. I have left you some space here in the story to add your own ideas. I think nine lines should be enough.
INSERT YOUR IDEA HERE:
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He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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In Option Number Three, Falcon Boy does not use his superpower to con, convince, connive or conspire. Instead, and as can happen very occasionally (and only really in stories but possibly in real life but probably never in this way), it just so happens that something magically coincidental happens to Ellis.
For reasons probably to do with probability, possibility, impossibility and, of course, improbability, this option might work better if this book was a film, or when this book is a film (aim high, I always say).
In the film of this book, you could have a scientist explain what is about to happen. The scientist would be able to make it sound very likely and convincing. There is no scientist in this story about to explain anything but that doesn’t mean that one won’t be created for the screenplay. It happens all the time.
Failing all this, it would really take a separate book to properly justify what is about to happen, if any justification would be possible, so perhaps we should accept that what is about to happen happens, because who would want to read a book about this sort of thing anyway? Watching a film is a different story altogether but that is for a different story.
Anyway, Ellis accidentally pressed pause on her MP3 player when she meant to press stop and as she did so, she accidentally managed to pause the world of her house.
Ellis walked into the kitchen to see her Mum standing by the back door, paused and frozen in time.
‘I’m just popping out to save the world by finding out what has happened to Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird and then rescue them before Dr Don’t Know can put his evil plans into action,’ she said.
Mum didn’t reply. How could she? She had just been paused by an extremely convenient but profoundly improbable and wholly-shabby plot device.
Let’s see how they handle this option in the film.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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Now, this option is slightly different to the first one and I am not sure that I really like it that much. Nevertheless, it is a viable one so I’ll let you decide. It will also alleviate the concern about what will happen when Ellis’s Mum and her friend stop talking in Option Number One.
Falcon Boy uses his superpower again and convinces Ellis’s Mum that she really needs to give more back to society, and she can start doing this by calling a direct marketing company and offering to complete as many surveys as they have got.
‘Really?’ came the unscripted response from the extremely surprised direct marketeer. ‘All of them?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Mum. ‘I have always thought what a thankless task you people must have and I suddenly got the idea to do something to make your job a bit more bearable.’
‘Thank you very much,’ came the reply, still unscripted. ‘This may take a while,’ said the marketeer, ‘so I hope you are sitting down.’
‘I am now,’ said Ellis’s Mum as she sits down on a kitchen stool. ‘So what do you want to know?’
Ellis realised that this was going to take a while so she took the opportunity to grab her scooter, open the front door and head off towards the park without her Mum knowing.
Obviously, I am not encouraging anyone to be as reckless as to let their small child out of the house unattended. Or, indeed, phone a direct marketing company directly. Or do both. Nevertheless, some of you might like the options that this option offers.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
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Ellis knows that Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird live in a small house at the very edge of the Panic Town Park and Ornamental Gardens. She knows the park very well and only last weekend had been in the playground trying to master the monkey bars. From her house, the park isn’t very far and Ellis will only have to cross two roads, both with traffic lights.
Falcon Boy’s brand-new superpower allows him to say something to someone and make it sound like an idea that has just popped into their head. He suggested to Ellis’s Mum that it might be a nice idea to surprise Ellis with a spontaneous trip to the park.
‘I’ve just had a great idea,’ said Ellis’s Mum. ‘I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.’ (We do!)
‘It’s a lovely evening and your dad won’t be home for a while, so why don’t we two girls go and have some fun together in the playground?’
Ellis understood immediately that Mum’s idea had come from Falcon Boy.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered to the kidnapped superhero.
‘No problem,’ said Falcon Boy. ‘Our house is just by the gate so you shouldn’t have any problem getting a chance to take a look.’
Ellis and her Mum reached the gates of the park when a voice called out, ‘Hello there, and how are you? I haven’t seen you for ages. How have you been?’ It was one of Mum’s chatty friends and Ellis knew that she would be waiting for a while as the two friends chat.
‘Here’s my chance,’ she thought and slipped through the gate that lead to Falcon Boy’s house.
We won’t think about what will happen once Mum and her friend stop talking. That’s for another time.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowFor the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
BARNABY TAYLOR 