Tag: Superhero
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Everyone loves a robot and we have all enjoyed countless stories about impressive-sounding robots with wonderful names, all shiny and chrome and quick with witty one-liners and other typical science-fiction adventure banter designed to make everyone love the ‘mechanical friend’ forever more.
These are the kinds of robots in those kinds of stories that make their traveling companions laugh by making funny observations about whatever situation, sticky or otherwise, they find themselves in.
Along the way and in between the witty words, these kinds of robots are also able to solve a crisis or two. Put two robots together in the same story and you can also spend hours reveling in the robotic rhythms of their witty robotic repartee.
However, as Pearly Loses the Plot, Or Does She? demonstrates to us all, the relationship between humans and robots is not always a smooth and mutually progressive one.
A misguided investigation initiated by Pearly and the Interesting Twins leads to ninety-three employees of the First Fallstown Beneficial & Mutual Bank being mistakenly convicted of embezzling pension funds and imprisoned in the Fallstown Correctional Facility. It takes a lengthy legal campaign to get the convictions overturned and as a result of these hearings, Pearly is banned from ever investigating again.
‘You need to go back to school like every other child your age,’ says the presiding magistrate, the Right Honourable Judge Lambert Johnstone-Drury. ‘Your investigating days are well and truly over.’
And seemingly they are. The Interesting Twins are separated and sent to three different foster homes. Pearly Stockwell becomes the latest and most unwilling boarder at the Fallstown Academy for Troublesome Children.
Everything they had worked so hard to achieve now appears to be over, but as luck would have it or, indeed, as is essential for any story to resolve the issues that it contains, or just so the writers can add excitement to an episode that is seemingly going nowhere, it just so happens that Fallstown suddenly becomes the focus of a visitation from outer space.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero
She couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell
If universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowShare this:
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Dr Don’t Know still said nothing, and so the scientist continued continuing.
‘The target’s name is Ellis. Our last report indicates that she has now left the house shared by Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird and is headed for the Panic Town Stadium.’ The scientist paused. ‘We have got to stop her before it is too late!’
Dr Don’t Know didn’t react so the scientist reacted for him.
‘Putting aside for one moment the whole evil plan thing, I thought it was also worth me formally registering my complete and utter disgust that a young girl like this has been allowed to leave the family home unsupervised.’ The scientist was angry now.
‘Never in all my time as a professional have I ever known anything as unprofessional as this being allowed to happen.’ Dr Don’t Know still said nothing. The scientist continued continuing his continuing.
‘Whoever is responsible for letting this young child leave her family home and get caught up in all manner of world-threatening adventures should, at the very least, be named and shamed!’
The scientist slammed his fist into the palm of his other hand in that gesture so beloved by people who are looking for the physical equivalent of the grammatical violence of an exclamation mark.
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‘It may interest you to know,’ the scientist continued, ‘that if it were down to me, the person responsible for such irresponsibility would be
tarred and feathered,
pursued aggressively to the very bounds of the bailiwick,
hung by their heels over a vat of rancid soup until they coughed uncontrollably,
forced to publicly confess their crimes on television,
severely castigated, so much so that the mere possibility of any future castigation would cause them to tremble uncontrollably,
dealt with silently for the rest of their lives,
made to walk backwards forever,
picked out for the rest of their days by a powerful spotlight.’
As you can see, the scientist feels very strongly about this.
‘As you can see,’ said the scientist to the Doctor, ‘I feel very strongly about this.’ Dr Don’t Know still said nothing.
‘I can’t help feeling,’ concluded the scientist, ‘that this poor innocent child has been deliberately made to leave the house in order to further the aims of someone who is constantly manipulating situations like this to simply suit themselves.’ The scientist looked around.
‘If I didn’t know any better,’ he said, ‘I would swear that we are all simply characters in someone else’s so-so story.’
Dr Don’t Know pressed a wobbly button on his desk that said ‘Troublebot’ and three of them appeared.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowShare this:
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Just when it seemed that the poor Doctor’s worries would engulf him completely, there was a knock at the door. Dr Don’t Know looked up to see the door to his ‘office’ being violently yanked open. After a brief struggle between man and hinge, one of the Doctor’s few remaining scientists stepped inside. The scientist was wearing a white lab coat with a pocket full of pens.
‘I have it here, Dr Don’t Know,’ said the scientist excitedly. ‘I have the picture you requested.’
The scientist handed an envelope to the supervillain and even though the scientist’s ‘laboratory’ – another converted storeroom – was only next-door to Dr Don’t Know’s ‘office’, he had been unable to resist the urge to seal the envelope with a lick and a long piece of sticky tape.
Dr Don’t Know took the envelope and held it in front of him. After a couple of weak attempts to open the envelope with the nail of his little finger, the Doctor stopped. He handed it back to the excited scientist.
‘But don’t you want to see it?’ asked the confused scientist. ‘I thought that this was a Level One Code Red Ultimate Priority?’
The scientist waited for a response. Dr Don’t Know said nothing.
‘This is the child that Falcon Boy was speaking to,’ continued the scientist.
The Doctor remained impassive and, perhaps fearing being let go like so many of his colleagues, the scientist kept talking.
‘Because we already knew the location of Falcon Boy, it was a relatively simple…’
The scientist stopped. ‘If I make it sound too simple,’ he said to himself, ‘then it will sound like anybody could have done it. If anybody could have done it, then why would that anybody have to be me?’ He started again.
‘Because we already knew the location of Falcon Boy, that meant we were able to put in place an extremely sophisticated and wholly-scientific monitoring and tracing procedure made possible, not only through the dedication of your team, but also by utilising a couple of highly complex and strictly classified logarithms, logarithms that are only known on a need to know basis.’
‘That sounds much better,’ thought the scientist. He continued again.
‘To prevent these complex logarithms falling into the wrong hands, they have never been written down but are instead entrusted to the memory of an extremely indispensable member of your organisation, namely myself.’ The scientist placed his hand on his heart, so as to further emphasise his indispensability.
‘I have them here, Doctor. I have them here.’
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowShare this:
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The life of a super-criminal can be worrisome enough, especially considering the sort of financial difficulties that he had experienced recently, but even given all of this, Dr Don’t Know is a real worrier and now he had something new to really worry about.
The ‘Other Transmissions’ section of his recently-rationalized and now, in fact, one-man surveillance and monitoring team (who also has to man the main switchboard when he is not busy with any transmissions designated as ‘other’), had just intercepted the conversation that took place between Falcon Boy and Ellis.
Hurried, worried questions burst in the Doctor’s brain like so many bursting bubbles of angry anger.
‘How could Falcon Boy have made contact with anyone?
How was this made possible?
Who is responsible?’
Dr Don’t Know looked straight towards me when he had this thought. Luckily, he doesn’t know that I’m there. He continued worrying.
‘If Falcon Boy has suddenly acquired a superpower then has his foolish friend acquired one as well?
Is someone arbitrarily handing out superpowers to people?
If so, why won’t someone give me one?
What sort of superpower do I want?
I had better think of one just in case. Would I choose falling like a stone but not breaking on impact?
Swimming like an unbidden fish?
Looming large over people?’
And the Doctor worried some more.
‘Why a young girl?
What is she going to do next?
Do I have to kidnap her as well?
Who else has Falcon Boy spoken to?
Will I have to kidnap them as well?
What if he has spoken to lots of people?
What if I have to kidnap lots of people?
Where will I put them all?’
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowShare this:
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Hi Everyone
I’m thrilled to have just discovered another 5★★★★★ review for Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets has just been posted on Amazon and thought I would share it with you. The book is currently FREE to download in all digital formats at Amazon and Smashwords so why not pop along and see what all the fuss is about?As we all know only too well, positive feedback is such an amazing thing to receive so many many thanks need to go to Mick Jordan for very kindly reading and reviewing Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets.
“Windy is standing by, ready to run really fast.”
“The something she bumped into was very solid and very metal and it very hurt her arm.”The quotations above perfectly sum up the style of this novel. It is child-like and witty but always charming. It’s like reading Terry Pratchett for kids. The characters exist in their own bizarre but completely believable universe and say perfectly sensible things that no sensible person would say. Or, as in the case of arch-villain Doctor Don’t Know, not say – anything except “Don’t know”. (It’s this approach to all questions and accusations that has got him to where he is in the evil underworld of Panic Town). Battling him are the (not very) super heroes Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird aided by a little girl called Ellis. Ellis is the reader’s way in to the story and clearly there for the child-reader (or the child reader in all of us) to identify with.
There are numerous sub-plots and characters propelling the story along its merry way, and all of it told in a lively, entertaining style that will sometimes make you laugh out loud – often in recognition of the equally bizarre attitudes and concepts of the real world. Like popular teen-icons Doodah and their mega-hit “Hey! Ho! Giddy, Giddy Go! Go!”- the entire lyrics of which are – in the title.
This book is a really fun read and it is really fun to read aloud to any child open to a world of fun and adventure.Share this:
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Straight away, I am sure you will agree that this is a terrible name for anything, let alone the sub-aquatic headquarters of an international master criminal down on his luck. However, in a spirit of team building that he has since come to regret on a daily basis, Dr Don’t Know ran a competition amongst the few employees he had left to name the vessel. The winning name was drawn from a hat.
Dr Don’t Know’s Submarine is a terrible name for the vessel but things could have been a whole lot worse if one of the other entries had been picked instead. Imagine if the submarine had been called Float Float or Crime Swim? What about Giant Swimming Flying Thing? Sea Sky 33? Dr Don’t Know’s Evil Underwater Submarine and Criminal Hidden Hideout Machine?
Dr Don’t Know’s Submarine constantly patrolled the waters of the world, hoping to avoid detection by staying partially submerged for hours at a time.
According to its operating manual, Dr Don’t Know’s Submarine can also fly short distances and be driven the wrong way down a motorway but no one, Dr Don’t Know included, has been brave enough to put this to the test.
Though it was converted to Dr Don’t Know’s specific specifications, the submarine doesn’t have the finest of finishes.
The doors don’t slide open with a beautifully silent whoosh. They stick when you try to slide them open and so you have to pull really hard and worry that you are going to rip them off their hinges.
There is no lift between the floors and the metal stairs are thin, wet and tortuously windy. You take your life in your hands if you want to carry a cup of hot soup from the galley on the fourth floor to the Mess on the floor below.
After years of rusty neglect, the on-board plumbing had only recently been repaired. Dr Don’t Know’s Submarine still smelled slightly of old singed vegetables, but things were far, far worse before the repairs. As you can imagine, it was incredibly difficult to keep the vessel submerged for long periods without flushing toilets.
Dr Don’t Know’s budget didn’t stretch to creating his very own supervillain’s super office, and he was forced to convert an old storeroom. His desk was an old packing case and instead of the kind of super-deluxe office chair finished in white leather normally available to the world’s criminal elite (complete with a long-haired purring cat), Dr Don’t Know has to make do with an old oil drum that hasn’t had all of its rough edges properly smoothed with an angle grinder.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowShare this:
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Extraordinary stories about extraordinary heroes normally need extraordinary villains with extraordinary gadgets and extraordinary widgets and extraordinary deeds, facilitated by mind-numbingly extraordinary technology.
All this sounds extraordinarily exciting but this story is slightly different, so I need to tone down expectations by rewriting the paragraph you have just finished reading. How about this?
Stories about heroes normally need villains with gadgets and widgets and deeds, facilitated by technology.
That sounds more like it. There is not much about this story that is extraordinary; its heroes, villains, super or otherwise. However, all is not lost.
Dr Don’t Know does have a global crime network. He also has a large submarine that he uses as his secret base but none of this is quite as glamorous as it sounds. Let me explain.
Global crime networks expand and contract over the life of a supervillain and Dr Don’t Know’s network had experienced a downturn in recent years. Profits have been down for a while now and this is why he has a submarine.
During the good times, Dr Don’t Know rented office space in many of the major cities around the world. He also had penthouse apartments and hotels suites on permanent stand-by, just in case the crimes he was working on necessitated an overnight stay somewhere.
Legions and legions of uniformed staff manned these offices and apartments and suites, ready to serve his every criminal whim.
However, all of this renting and hiring and manning and possible overnight-staying was incredibly expensive. When the crime times were good, Dr Don’t Know felt justified in spending this kind of money but once the crime times were not quite so good, Dr Don’t Know’s army of accountants, in the last thing they did for their boss before they were all fired, reviewed Dr Don’t Know’s income and expenditure and concluded that he was paying too much for too much and needed to start cutting back.
So, all of the office space and penthouse apartments and hotel suites were given up, as were the legions of uniformed staff manning them. Realising that he had to base himself somewhere in order to remain both at large and in business, Dr Don’t Know bought a second-hand submarine called Dr Don’t Know’s Submarine.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowShare this:
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Doodah are wearing matching silver and purple spacesuits, complete with heavy moon boots and large glass space helmets, which they are holding under their arms. Each helmet is filled with water and has a shoal of tiny tropical fish flashing purple and silver as they swim frantically round and round.
Deirdre is the oldest member of Doodah and designs all their outfits herself. According to the Deirdre page in the Doodah Friendship Holiday Annual for Lifelong and Special Fans Like You, her favourite ready meal is also lasagne but she only eats the sauce and picks out the meat and the pasta. When not touring the world with Doodah, Deirdre likes to go out onto the streets in disguise and surprise people at bus stops and supermarkets.
‘You should see their faces,’ she says, ‘when I tell them that they knew it was me all along but they were just too shy to approach me.’
She smiles at Camera Twelve.
‘We all talk about what we want to wear and then I go away and think about it and then come back to tell the band what I have thought about. That way, we all know what’s going on and then someone else goes away and makes our outfits.’
I’m pretty sure that there is much more that Deirdre wants to say but Bright Diamond looks at his watch and Camera Six cuts back to Camera One.
‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’ booms Bright Diamond. ‘Welcome to the end of yet another show.’ Doodah dematerialise and the set changes again. Bright Diamond is now floating deep underwater.
‘There you go, Pop Watchers, an exclusive interview with Doodah ahead of tonight’s homecoming concert.’ Bright Diamond pretends to swim a stroke.
‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’
The screen fades to darkness and the theme tune begins again.
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
Pop Watch, Pop Watch, Wanna Watch, Pop Watch
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow
If POP is more your thing then why not follow the world’s greatest band Doodah on Twitter @deirdredoodahShare this:
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Donny is the drummer and whilst this may be a nominal role, no one can ever say that Donny doesn’t do his best. He doesn’t really say too much, which is quite lucky because he really doesn’t have much to say.
His favourite ready meal is also lasagne and until he was banned for insurance purposes, his favourite hobby was setting off small outdoor fireworks indoors.
Camera Six for a wide shot followed by a cut back to a close shot of the drummer’s face.
‘Donny, is there a message you want to give to your fans ahead of your concert later?’
‘Not really,’ says a grinning Donny. ‘Just tell them to watch me drum. I’m good, I am.’
Cut back to Camera Five.
‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’
Daphne Doodah is next. Her job is to play the tambourine. In the Friendship Annual, it says that she hopes that her time in Doodah will help her learn about the world and ‘what different people do in different places at different times.’
Her favourite ready meal is also listed as lasagne and when she is not playing the tambourine in Doodah, she likes sticking sequins onto her shoes with superglue and watching films of kittens sleeping.
‘I think I’m speaking for all of us,’ she says, ‘when I say how excited we are about tonight’s concert.’
Daphne smiles into the camera.
‘We love all our fans everywhere but we love our fans in Panic Town the most, especially our friends and family who are obviously our fans as well.’
‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’ says Bright Diamond again. ‘That’s really great. Before we go, I would like to ask Deirdre who came up with the idea for your latest outfits.’
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelessheroShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwellIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknowIf POP is more your thing then why not follow the world’s greatest band Doodah on Twitter @deirdredoodah
For the full FREE adventures of Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird why not download Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of all the Planets now.Share this:
BARNABY TAYLOR 