Extraordinary stories about extraordinary heroes normally need extraordinary villains with extraordinary gadgets and extraordinary widgets and extraordinary deeds, facilitated by mind-numbingly extraordinary technology.
All this sounds extraordinarily exciting but this story is slightly different, so I need to tone down expectations by rewriting the paragraph you have just finished reading. How about this?
Stories about heroes normally need villains with gadgets and widgets and deeds, facilitated by technology.
That sounds more like it. There is not much about this story that is extraordinary; its heroes, villains, super or otherwise. However, all is not lost.
Dr Don’t Know does have a global crime network. He also has a large submarine that he uses as his secret base but none of this is quite as glamorous as it sounds. Let me explain.
Global crime networks expand and contract over the life of a supervillain and Dr Don’t Know’s network had experienced a downturn in recent years. Profits have been down for a while now and this is why he has a submarine.
During the good times, Dr Don’t Know rented office space in many of the major cities around the world. He also had penthouse apartments and hotels suites on permanent stand-by, just in case the crimes he was working on necessitated an overnight stay somewhere.
Legions and legions of uniformed staff manned these offices and apartments and suites, ready to serve his every criminal whim.
However, all of this renting and hiring and manning and possible overnight-staying was incredibly expensive. When the crime times were good, Dr Don’t Know felt justified in spending this kind of money but once the crime times were not quite so good, Dr Don’t Know’s army of accountants, in the last thing they did for their boss before they were all fired, reviewed Dr Don’t Know’s income and expenditure and concluded that he was paying too much for too much and needed to start cutting back.
So, all of the office space and penthouse apartments and hotel suites were given up, as were the legions of uniformed staff manning them. Realising that he had to base himself somewhere in order to remain both at large and in business, Dr Don’t Know bought a second-hand submarine called Dr Don’t Know’s Submarine.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero
She couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell
If universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow