Mac woke to find Gilly wiping his face with a filthy rag. ‘Where am I?’ he croaked. ‘What happened?’

‘They dragged you out at first light and threw you here,’ whispered his terrified friend.

Here was a pile of rotting rubbish beside the toilets. Gilly lifted a sooty bottle of fizzy orange liquid to Mac’s lips.

‘I saved this for you,’ he whispered. ‘Sip slowly, my friend.’ Mac took a sip, winced but took another anyway. Gilly pulled the bottle away. ‘Careful, Mac, not too much at once.’

Gilly pulled a paper bag from his pocket and handed Mac half a chicken wrap. The chicken was coated in something vaguely crumb-like and lay beside a piece of limp lettuce.

Mac chewed in silence for a while and then managed to smile at his friend.

‘Well, Professor Giollaiosa Ó Ruairc, this is a thing and a half and no mistake.’

‘Indeed it is, Professor Amhalgaidh Mac an Bhaird. Indeed it is.’