It’s over. End. Of. The. Road. The Line. The Story. The Trilogy. The Film. Action Figure. Lunch Box. Duvet Cover. Video Game. Fast Food Endorsements. Chat Shows. Award Ceremonies. The. End. Of. All. Things. Ever. Falcon Boy is no more.

He is gone. Missing in action. Vanished in a puff of grimy, oily smoke. Consumed by a conflagration. Farewell Clayton Candlegrease. Au revoir to the small man with the big dreams. Adios to the hairy top lip. We will never now see that moustache in full bloom. Goodbye. Thanks for everything. And nothing (really). It truly has been emotional.

O, most-lamented hero of the super kind. Your type will never be known again. You, who were the rarest and most noblest of breeds. Gone before your time. Because the soles of your boots were not rubber.

His family will be getting a telegram. A phone call. An email. A headline in the local newspaper. A mention on the news. I can picture Juniper Jarvis now.

‘Hi everyone, my name is Juniper Jarvis and I’m reporting live for 123 Celebrity News.’

She turns so that the stadium is behind her.

‘The big news today is the death of that much-loved superhero Falcon Boy, who sacrificed himself to save the lives of his friends, Ellis and Bewilder Bird, and by doing so also saved the whole planet as well.’ Juniper turns to Bewilder Bird who is standing next to her.

‘I am joined by Bewilder Bird, who was there when his friend and co-hero passed away.’

Juniper has to hold the microphone higher than usual because Bewilder Bird is so tall. She smiles.

‘So, Bewilder Bird. Perhaps you could tell us what happened?’

Bewilder Bird doesn’t answer.

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