When Ellis had finished telling Doodah about her rescuing Falcon Boy and Bewilder Bird, everybody wondered what to do next. Surprisingly, or not, depending on how you view what she was about to say, it was Daphne who spoke first.

‘Why don’t we all just go home?’ she suggested. ‘If we all leave very, very quietly and no one ever ever tells him, Dr Don’t Know might never, never know until it is way, way too late, and even when he does maybe someday find out, it will be way, way too, too late anyway because nobody will even really be here to even start to tell him, because everybody will have already gone home.’

Let’s pause for a second. Ellis was only saying a minute ago that global pop stars have a responsibility to set good examples to their fans and now we have one of the biggest stars in the world saying something as stupid as this.

How does Daphne’s last outburst make you feel? Angry? Confused? Disappointed? Scared?

How does it make me feel? A little bit weepy, bordering on fearful. Remember, I only had to type it out. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. You were the poor person who had read the offending paragraph, either out loud to someone else, or even to yourself. Sorry.

I’m pretty sure that Ellis felt the same way we do. She was only at the start of her lifelong engagement with language, but Ellis simply couldn’t believe that anyone would be capable of saying something like this, let alone saying it out loud.

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