We should probably see Bewilder Bird as a bonus. He embodies the living, breathing realisation of the Buy-One-Get-One-Free principle that generates nine-tenths of all the transactions in the Panic Town Shopping Centre and Retail Park.
I’m not being cruel when I say this. The simple fact of these paragraphs is more than enough to demonstrate that just like his friend, but possibly for a slightly different reason, Bewilder Bird has still been imbued with the same kind of extraordinariness as his partner.
If you need any more convincing then you have to consider the fact that were things any different here then this book would be called Falcon Boy versus Dr Don’t Know in a Battle for all the Life of the Planets. And it isn’t.
Bewilder Bird suits his name perfectly. Take his boots, for example. They were designed to look like a bird’s foot but a simple error with the measurements he sent to the mail order company meant that when they arrived in the post, the talons were slightly too long. This makes it very hard for him to run properly whilst wearing them.
I know what you are thinking. He should have sent them back straight away. This is easy to say but Bewilder Bird, like a lot of us, found that the whole sending-things-back-thing can seem like too much trouble.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero
She couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell
If universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow