Troublebots are not like any other kind of robot you have ever seen before. Were you to meet one, you might start feeling sorry for it but for the simple fact that their general down-at-heel-ness has made them extremely bad-tempered.
This is because that for all the reasons outlined above, and many more that I haven’t even begun to mention, Troublebots are aware enough of their own inherent flawedness to be totally insecure and forever angry.
It is no wonder that Troublebots look like they are about to smash you in the mouth with a badly-clenched fist or stamp on your toes with an ill-fitting foot.
Troublebots are not even able to find any solidarity in their shoddiness. It isn’t just the world and everyone in it that causes a Troublebot to lash out in frustration, they also find it impossible to get on with each other. Picture the following scenario:
Troublebot A leaves a leg out to trip Troublebot B while Troublebot B is trying to blindside Troublebot C and attach a magnetic rope round the ankles of Troublebot D.
While this is all happening Troublebot D is attempting to short-circuit Troublebot E with a long-handled screwdriver.
Meanwhile Troublebots F and G are holding Troublebot H out of a thirty-five-storey window by its badly-fitted legs.
Ever alive to the possibility of a nice bit of roboticide, Troublebot I is poised to shove F and G out of the window, taking H with them.
Quite understandably, no one, not even Dr Don’t Know and he has had a small army of them manufactured, can stand to be in the same room as a Troublebot.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero
She couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell
If universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow