Falcon Boy: A Fairly Hopeless Hero Volume 1: 11
The Rebel Robot MCs
The Rebel Robot MCs are three young rappers, B-boys and DJs called Nuclear Boy, DJ Slo-Mo and R-Man. With rhymes as hot as
We’re gonna ROCK, gonna BLOW our TOP
And for the likes of you WE’LL NEVER STOP
Gonna lay down the law for the HERE AND NOW
And your only care is WHO? not HOW?
We’re not old enough to drive a car but
YOU need to know how REAL we ARE
and beats to match it is easy to see why the Rebel Robot MCs are Panic Town’s favourite hip hop crew.
The Rebel Robot MCs hit the big time with their rebooted version of the old Amy and the Aminals (sic) soul stomper Party Line. Released on the very obscure White Crown record label in 1966, there were only 50 copies of the original single printed and a pristine copy is now worth enough to purchase a small house in the poshest part of Panic Town.
The video that accompanies the Rebel Robot MC’s version really takes off just at the part where Nuclear Boy and R-Man rap the chorus with six dolls dressed as alligators while DJ Slo-Mo uses a wonky bicycle wheel as her turntable.
CH … CH …CH … Check it out
Take your time
Call us NOW on the party line
We’re here for YOU
And you’re there for US
So check it out now
DON’T MAKE NO FUSS
I’m Nuclear Boy and I’m in the house
Hear my big town roar
Ain’t no country mouse
DJ Slo-Mo is her NAME
She’s here to STAY
She got everlasting FAME
R-Man says clap your hands
Don’t bury your head deep in the SAND
What’s your plan?
WHAT YOU GONNA SAY TO THE MAN?
What’s your plan?
WHAT YOU GONNA SAY TO THE BIG BAD MAN?
Within three hours of the track’s release the fortunes of the three MCs changed forever when Party Line was adopted by the Fuzzy Cola™ Corporation as the soundtrack to their next television advertisement.
Some people were inevitably upset by what they saw as the usual selling-out by struggling artists who are given a glimpse of the big time, but others applauded the sentiment as DJ Slo-Mo memorably rapped a response to their critics on the band’s follow-up track Party Line II (I’m Doing Extra Fine).
Not selling, we’re reaching OUT,
And we’re telling you WITHOUT A DOUBT,
Our aim is TRUE and our hands are CLEAN,
We don’t get our kicks from NO DRINKS MACHINE,
They say we do, WE SAY WE DON’T,
THEY WANT US TO, BUT YOU KNOW WE WON’T
For many of their other fans, including Ellis and her classmates, any possible fears of whether or not an artist’s creativity would be consumed by corporate conformity were largely ignored in favour of the cuddly robot costumes the Rebel Robot MCs wore in the next Fuzzy Cola© television advert once the corporation bought the rights to the band in perpetuity.
You can also follow Falcon Boy on Twitter @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero