Synopsis
A brilliant research student discovers a plot fulminated by demons from another dimension and kills himself in the process. The fate of the world is left in the hands of an elderly academic and a mysterious orphan.
Using the facts surrounding Ireland’s economic collapse in 2008 as its starting point, Terminal Transit is an apocalyptic adventure dealing with death and destruction in a Dublin slowly devastated by demonic intervention.
Can the end of the world be avoided?
Or is this planet simply scheduled for Terminal Transit?
Terminal Transit,
Chapter I ‘The Song of the NotBeSpeak,’
The Lily and the Dying Bird
By
Butler F. Temple
The Lily and the Dying Bird
The lily is a favored organism
for the cytological examination
of
meiosis
since when a form
is taken on involuntarily,
the morphological stage of meiosis can be easily for eternity.
When people speak
to one another,
they apply their knowledge of social accessibility,
manipulation,
genetics,
conservation of mechanisms,
and potential.
Due to the large number of precise
replications,
robots are changing into the form
of the dying bird
that it is, in fact,
widely used to perform the colony manipulations.
When researchers
look for an organism
to use in their
confinement
and restraint;
the person is bound to the new form.
Among these are size,
generation,
time,
despair,
so to be in this level one understands
the permanence
of the despair.
SPOTS IN NIGHT AND DOTS AND WHIRLS AND SHAPES AND SYSTEMS CONSTELLATIONS AS STARS GLEAM AND FLASH AND BURST AND DIE BUT NOT THESE UNHEAVENLY BODIES THEY ARE ONLY ALL GALAXY AND NEBULA AND COSMOGONIC AGGLOMERATE AND BENT ON CLOSING THEIR EVIL DISTANCE ACROSS THOSE DIMENSIONS THAT WE KNOW DO NOT MATTER AND SO SPACE AND TIME ARE NOW ONLY DESPARATE AMBITIONS THAT WE HAVE AS WE HOPE THAT THESE PLANES DO NOT BUCKLE AND BULGE AND STRETCH AS THEY GIVE WAY TO THOSE BEYOND AND OUTSIDE BUT THESE OUTSIDE ARE TOO MUCH FOR HUMAN HOPE AND SO EASILY FIND NO RESISTANCE TO THE TWINKLE TWINKLE OF THEIR STARLIGHT AND SINCE THE FIRST MAN POINTED THE FIRST LENS AT THE SPARKLING NIGHT THESE STARS HAVE SPIED UPON US HAVE SURVEYED SCRUTINIZED ATTENDED TO AND HELD US DEEP IN THERE CONTEMPT AND WILL NOT EVER LOSE THERE GLARE AND HATE AND DISGUST FOR US THEY DO NOT WANT TO BEAR US ENDURE US ANYMORE AND HAVE NO OTHER DESIRE THAN TO DESTROY US AND REMOVE AND ERASE AND FINISH AND END AND THEY THINK IT FOREVER FUNNY THAT THEIR MALEVOLENT COMPLEXITY OF FORM HAS BEEN CHILDISHLY DEFINED BY ANCIENT MEN DESCRIBING SHAPES WITH STARS AS POINTS LIKE DOGS AND PLOUGHS AND SHIPS AND SHIELDS AND BULLS AND FISH AND LIONS THEY HAVE AMUSED THEMSELVES FOR EONS BY SHINING BRIGHTLY AND CAUSING THE HUMAN RACE TO ASCRIBE THEIR LIGHT WITH HOPE AND FAITH AND HAPPINESS AND INFANT MESSIAHS AND SURVIVAL AND FUTURES BUT NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THERE THOUGHTS AND THE UNPROPITIOUS DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT SKY IS WHAT THE WORLD SHOULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING ALL ALONG NOT THE DISTANT LIGHTS THAT BEWITCHED THE EARTH AS THEY DOTTED THE BLACK SUDARIUM
kahakhe|bavinkiizgahakahi gexenizinga elbu owthociz nujishiz idbe zonoher sade vijuwap mashi abash thamunaztizizod oldema ishbiba oged wevo ayye ozmimow obiyyo depefek ogandopip lykug kutigot giyube oteg vifizur urbehis dugigah lafu duhuwiri orapse Getimog hakish shunori efeth bihefuv lyjapuk habonnu sageifse ansozo ware zano ubtoce nemida eyythno alrogi ythelus thezatibewig otiy etad ficor urli oyes ikna etvivep ZACE nubewornaril zovuyi yitofi ekoh uznosug ruvaw vethe goladuh oyemfo gijozthydas powa lacash hivosh oshdu thevih iwgi VALER thiso uhtheregthapel ebin ivpa ugof davaval tihaz boshipe radapov envu ogofogtasu othaf gizil godah esga feba sakepe kakuv yamitwi
AND FROM THE PRESENT CREPUSCULE THE PERVERTED LIGHT SHITS DOWN ITS SQUALID DESPICABLE LINE TO SPOT ME IN THE CROWDS THAT HERD AND SWARM THIS CURSED EARTH AND I CANNOT FLEE THIS FOULNESS AS IT COATS ME SWALLOWING WHOLE AND I STAND STUNNED AND STILL AS THIS ACCURSED LIGHT THEN ALLOWS THE COSMOS TO CONSUME ME WHOLE AND SO WHOLE PLANETS BURST FORTH TO FILL MY MOUTH WITH VERMINOUS WORMS THAT CRAWL AND CHEW AWAY MY FACE MY CHEEKS GUMS MY TEETH MY THROAT MY NOSE MY JAW MY FACE FROM INSIDE OUT THEN SLIPPING DOWN MY THROAT TO EAT MY SCREAM AND MY LUNGS AND FILL MY HOWLING BELLY WITH THEIR CRAWL AND PULSE I GAG BUT CANNOT PASS THEM BACK THROUGH MY MOUTH AS THEY FALL TOO FAR AND EAT THEIR WAY OUT THROUGH MY BOWELS ONLY THEN DO THEY LEAVE ME FAT FULL OF BLOAT AND BLOOD AND BILE AND SHIT AND PUS AND SPHINCTER AND MY AGONY IS THAT RARE KIND ENJOYED BY SAINTS AND NUNS AND FOOLS AND HERMITS AND THE PERSECUTED AND FLAYED AND TORTURED AND APOSTATES EVERYWHERE WHO KNOW THE CLUTCH OF PAIN SO SUPREME AND DIRECT AND SO MANNERED AND EFFECTED BY RITUAL AND WRITING AND WRITHING AND SO REVOLTING AS TO PULL THE FLESH FROM ME LIKE THE SCALD OF OIL THE CRUSH OF WEIGHT THE PULL OF ROPE THE LICK OF WHIP THE RIP OF BARB OR THE HOLY RUSH OF THE FIERY STAKE
The Blood and the Wound that Drains
The NotBeSpeak will not be spoken of.
They are
the space
between the words. Not
the words them
selves.
The pause before the sentence.
The sigh that follows. The NotBeSpeak
are ancient. Timeless.
Dangerous. Alien. The NotBeSpeak
are shapeless. Always shifting.
Drifting outside of definition. Beyond boundaries. The
NotBeSpeak
are not evil. This is not a
word for them. No
words really are.
The NotBeSpeak need shape now. They need
form to form their dismal plan. The NotBeSpeak seek
a
host. Like a vacuum needs a vessel to empty.
Blood needs a wound to drain. Darkness
needs
a
light
to
extinguish.
There are five NotBeSpeak and
they are currently
devoid of physical form. They
are in-between. Liminal. The thought
that flutters briefly before dimming to die not formed. The
space you see between two books on the same shelf
where another one wouldn’t fit. The something
you do not hear as the sound of it jostles your eardrum.
The shadow cast you cannot see for the angle of its origin. Were you to know where to look and, more importantly, were
able to comprehend it, you would gradually come to understand that the influence of the NotBeSpeak can most
properly be understood in terms of the Three Tiers of Change;
Past-Change,
Present-Change and
Future-Change.
Iamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexistiamthedeaddaughterofthestillbornsonthechildthatneverhappenedipossessthemostpeculiartalentshtemostexceptionalabilitiesasbefitssomeonewhodoesnotexist
I SCREAMING AS THEY ISSUE FORTH IN EVIDENCE AND FACT AND OOZING PERSUASION AND IDEA AND THOUGHT ALL SIMPLY TOO MUCH TOO MUCH I SAY BUT WE ARE YOU THEY WHISPER AND YOU ARE WE WE AND YOU ARE ALWAYS US BUT YOU ARE NOT ME AND I AM NOT YOU AM I ME BUT WHO IS ME THEY WHISPER YOU ARE NOT ME YOU ARE NOT YOU YOU ARE WE AND WE ARE YOU AND US AND ALWAYS WILL BE YOU CAN BE MORE NOW THAN BEFORE BUT NOT YOU ANYMORE WE ARE ALL OF YOU AND ALL OF US ARE ONLY YOU WE USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR LIMBS NOW HOLD OUR WEIGHT WE NOW SHARE SYNAPSE AND IMPULSE WE ALL ARE ONLY AND ARE ONE WITH YOU YOU ARE NOT ANYMORE THERE IS NO YOU THERE NEVER IS A YOU ANY MORE AND SO YOU MUST BE US ONLY US NOT ME
Untitled
‘Here since never sought.’
Said again this time loudlier.
‘HERE. SINCE. NEVER. SOUGHT.’
‘No refuse and no not refuse is all the same.’
‘Error is oft not known.’
‘Always never.’
‘And ending as begin?’
‘Only.’
Bara Cailín
A dark and filthy night. Black as black. A howling wind. A small mound in the distance. A lonely tree bent double on top. Nothing is abroad. No one walks on a night like this. But wait. A small figure stands next to the tree. Gently lifting a large flat stone. Carefully tying a rope. Lowering the other end into a small black hole. Leering like a baleful eye in the frightening night. Inteachán tests the knot. Inteachán is nine years old. She climbs down holes. Retrieving relics. Important things. Tombs. Graves. Cairns. Inteachán calls herself Bara Cailín. Barrow Girl. ‘I have another job, Inteachán,’ Butler smiled. ‘The usual terms and conditions apply.’ ‘Thrilled, as always,’ replied Inteachán. And she was. This is what she did best. ‘In a barrow there is a horn,’ continued Butler. ‘Please fetch it for me.’ ‘With pleasure, dad,’ smiled Inteachán. ‘Head to Knocknarea and find the cairn of Queen Mebh.’ Butler laughed. ‘Enormous great thing, you can’t miss it.’ Inteachán laughed too. She loved fetching things for inclusion in her father’s almanac. ‘There is a secret chamber that everyone has forgotten about. But not us.’ ‘No,’ replied Inteachán, ‘not us.’
A plan cooked up by wife and husband to steal a sacred bull called Donn Cuailnge. A royal wife and husband – Queen Mebh of Connaught. King Ailill. Legend surrounding legend but legend has it that a bull’s horn went missing. And has never been found. Queen Mebh’s cairn stands atop Knocknarea and Inteachán crept towards it in the night. She stopped to grab a stone and put it in her pocket. Apparently, it is bad luck to remove a stone from the cairn but good luck to leave one there. Inteachán needed all the luck she could get. The lock on the gate was no match for Inteachán and she glided past the bars and into the shadows. Earth. Water. Urine. All tombs smell the same.
Inteachán slowly climbs down the rope. Into the darkness, the bowels of the earth. Where all the secrets are. Inteachán is not afraid. She breathes slowly as she descends. Her feet gently touch the ground. She stands still and listens. The darkness engulfs her like a damp blanket. Listen. There is water dripping somewhere. A steady stream. Inteachán switches her torch on. The thin beam of light fills with swimming dust. A small chamber. Filled with broken pottery. A wide spider has strung a web between two small pillars. There is an altar between them. On the altar is the box. This is what Inteachán came for.
Inteachán squeezes past the web to reach the altar from behind. She reaches towards the pot. Something stirs in the darkness. A gentle sigh. Inteachán knows this sound. ‘Fomhóire,’ she says softly to herself. ‘I’d better be quick.’ She gently lifts the box and places it in her rucksack. The sigh is getting louder now. Like gas escaping from a valve. Inteachán reaches the rope as the sound gets louder and louder. The small space of the barrow begins to fill with noise.
Inteachán starts to climb the slippery rope. Her small arms are strong. She pulls herself hand over hand. What was once a simple sigh is now a deafening shriek. A shriek that will consume her if Inteachán doesn’t get away. The rope sways violently. Inteachán climbs faster. The shriek swells again and now starts to fill the night. With a final kick Inteachán is free of the darkness. Quickly now she unties the rope and lets it fall to be swallowed by the Fomhóire’s howl.
***
Inteachán woke. She was wet and cold. What had happened? She remembered cutting the rope. The sudden surge as gravity gripped and ripped her downwards. Possibly a scream? It all happened so fast. Inteachán tried to move. Her legs were heavy. Her arms ached terribly. As she rolled onto her side Inteachán felt the lap of a tiny wave. Her fingers felt wet, slimy rock in the darkness. Instinct told her to keep moving and Inteachán crawled carefully forward until she was lying on dry stone. Looking behind her Inteachán saw the faintest of light barely sparkling on the surface of an enormous underground lake.
Inteachán tried to figure out what had happened. Clearly she had fallen down the shaft and landed in Tibradden Lough. How she had managed to be washed ashore she couldn’t imagine but Inteachán wasn’t the sort to focus on anything but what she needed to do next. She was cold. She was wet. She was alone.
Inteachán knew she needed to a make a fire in order to survive. She pulled her rucksack off of her shoulders and reached inside. The metal tinderbox had been a permanent fixture on the mantelpiece for as long as Inteachán could remember. At the time she thought nothing of it but clearly there was a reason why she put it in her rucksack for the family camping trip. And had kept it there ever since.
As she pulled the small tin from her wet bag the touch of the metal caused a twin surge of terrible loss and wonderful love to issue forth from Inteachán’s tiny heart. Despite all appearances to the contrary, Inteachán’s loss was still too recent for her to do anything other than be totally overwhelmed once more. An unknown time passed before Inteachán was ready to begin again. She reached back into her rucksack and pulled out her spare penlight. She turned the penlight on and pointed. Like a chalk line barely drawn across the blackness of infinity Inteachán’s beam hardly touched the dark.
Steering left felt right and so Inteachán began to walk carefully across the wet stone with the lough to her back. Her penlight faintly flickered in front of her revealing nothing more than a tiny disc of light for her to gingerly step into. As she moved Inteachán slowly began to gather her senses. The air was filled with a sickly rotting scent that Inteachán assumed was vegetation.
‘If that’s the case, she considered, ‘then maybe some of it is dry enough to burn.’ Inteachán felt better with each step.
‘I just need to keep moving,’ she reasoned. ‘Standing still is always death.’ As she walked on Inteachán found the smell was getting worse and worse. She also noticed that the texture underfoot was changing. In the weak torchlight she could see that the wet stone was getting drier. Clumps of some kind of weed were dotted everywhere and starting to form a carpet under her feet. Inteachán bent down to touch the weed and found it was still slightly damp.
‘That won’t burn,’ she thought, ‘but if I keep moving in this direction I might find some that will.’ Inteachán kept walking and gradually the carpet beneath her feet began to pop and crunch. The weed was now dry to the touch.
It took a fair while for Inteachán to gather enough of the dry weed to create what she hoped would be a decent fire. Eventually she was satisfied and so she set her things down where she could find them and kneeling beside the vegetation Inteachán opened her tinderbox and began. The spark lived briefly and then died in the darkness and had there been anyone else underground as well they would have been instantly forgiven had they not noticed what Inteachán was doing so faint was the flash from the flint in the vastness of the cavern.
Had Butler been down beneath the hill with Inteachán he would have been thrilled to point out that the presence of vegetation in such a hypogean environment would have indicated an entrance and therefore exit somewhere.
‘Biospeleology,’ he would have told Inteachán, ‘is the scientific study of cave organisms and the ecosystems that support them.’ Inteachán would have smiled in silent admiration. But Butler wasn’t here and Inteachán didn’t feel much like smiling right now. The impressive height of the weeds she had gathered in a pile now taunted her with its looming presence as she struggled to keep a barely flame alive.
Inteachán blew as gently as you would on a baby’s cheek. She blew as furiously as you would on a piping hot drink. She breathed. She exhaled. She sighed. Inteachán insufflated, as if baptizing the flicker but also unaware of the sacramental nature of her action. She caressed the tinder, delicately placing and replacing, cajoling as she did so. It was very cold underground and Inteachán was not only wet but also freezing yet something seemed to saying that a fire would not be welcome here. This something was not a wind or a draught, more a sense, an instinct; a feeling that Inteachán knew all too well but could not yet find the words for.
Picture a version of this story as a film and here the editor cuts from an extreme close shot of the flint’s flicker to an impossible wide shot of the space as the camera is held high on high and looking down as if from a celestial point of view. There is no next cut and this wide shot remains in place. We begin to read the darkness as an apocalyptic one, ceremental in the way in which it covers everything with its cling from the grave.
We have all panicked. All of us. Trying to stay calm. Collected. Unaffected. Trying not to let something bother us. But the bothersome normally beats us. And begins to transform the rhythm of our lives and as we fail to stay calm everything about our experience begins to accelerate and what we thought was once sensible and normal once now becomes none of these things and our breaths get shorter and we find that thing take longer and we try harder and they take longer again and the more we try the more we don’t succeed and the more we don’t succeed the faster the feeling of panic fills up and begins to overflow now spilling into our ears and making to hard to hear and our eyes and we struggle to focus and our mouths and we find breathing hard and our limbs so the light becomes heavy becomes impossible and our finely boned and jointed hands and feet and legs eventually behave like the many splintered branches on a tiny broken tree.
‘Come on,’ shivered Inteachán. ‘Why won’t you catch?’ Her small hands were numb with the cold and the clinging darkness held her tight in place. But free will is one of the world’s most wondrous weapons, especially in a child, and so the cold and the numbness and the panic and the darkness all fell away around her like snow from a shaken tree and in the moment that followed this all Inteachán could see and think and feel was how she was going to get the spark to catch and the fire to light.
Click. Spark. Glow. Blow. Blow. Glow. Dark. Click. Spark. Glow. Blow. Again. Gentle. Glow. Dark. Click. Spark. Glow. Blow. Longer. Still gentle. Glow. Blow. Longer still. Blow. Glow. Dark. Click. Spark. Glow. Blow. Gentle. Glow. Blow. Glow. Blow. Flame. Blow. Flame. Blow. Longer. Gentle. Flame. Flames. Red. Glow. Blow. Smile. Blow. Flame. Catch. Spread. Blow. Spread. Red. Light. Glow. Flame. Lick. Curl. Light. More light. Red. Orange. Crack. Smoke. Spread. Lick. Curl. Red. Orange.
Fire.
And all at once the shadows danced and filled the hungry space with their wondrous coupling with the new found light and Inteachán looked around and marvelled at the enormity of the space beneath the mountain. Vast. Cavernous.
‘Like a world beneath the world,’ she whispered to herself. ‘Enough space to drown a sea.’
Since the darkness dispelled at the start of Life a fire can always soothe and succour, giving a thawing comfort to frozen limbs and offering a protective light to shelter worried eyes. Inteachán sat still and in the same film of this story the camera’s same god-like position as before now offers the audience the much more hopeful view now of a small child sitting beside a small fire in a huge cave beneath a large mountain.
Watch a fire and follow the tiny curls of flame and colour as they twist and turn and coil around the wisps and sputters of smoke. Each flame you see contains the history of every flame ever to flume since the first fire ever licked the darkness with its reach.
Inteachán removed all her clothes and leaned towards the warmth, feeling it reinvigorate as it dried. She reached into her rucksack and pulled out a waterproof bag. Sandwiches are no good on adventures like this so she pulled nuts and seeds from the bag and began to chew. Inteachán broke a piece of bitter chocolate from a bar and savoured the tang on her tongue.
As the warmth filled her body Inteachán turned her thoughts once more to the matter at hand. She was sitting on the shore of a giant lake deep beneath a mountain because Butler had asked her to try and find somewhere for the city’s flood waters to drain into. They hadn’t discussed exactly how this was going to happen and so Inteachán changed her objectives to fit her new situation. From her new perspective, escaping this cave was what she needed to do most. Draining the city was now a secondary thing.
Bouts of energy and action need to be nurtured by moments of intense thought and so as she began to put back on her dried clothes Inteachán deliberated. Every in must always have an out and Inteachán figured that by searching the shore of the lake she would likely find a tributary of some kind.
‘Butler would call it ebb and flow,’ she said out loud without thinking. The sound of her voice was troubling in this space and Inteachán felt uneasy and wished that she hadn’t spoken. She stood up, got dressed and got ready to go.
And then Inteachán heard it. Faint at first. The hint of a heard thing. But there all the same. Perhaps it was nothing, she thought to herself. The echo of my voice bouncing off of some distant wall. But it wasn’t that. It was something else. Definitely something. She heard it again. Closer now. More distinct. Inteachán stood still and listened hard. She heard it again. Them. A succession of noises now. Gentle. Faint. Distant. Delicate but definite. Across the blur of the distance Inteachán now knew that the sound was a plop followed by a small splash.
Plop. Splash. Again.
Plop. Splash.
And again.
Plop. Splash.
Multiplied one hundred fold.
One thousand.
Suddenly countless.
But it was not whatever in the singular sense – as in whatever it is that is making that noise could it please possible consider stopping. No, it was whatever in the plural; as in whatever it is that is making that noise could they please consider stopping making it. But all of this is supposing, of course, that cockroaches have the capacity to stop and consider whether or not their behaviour is likely to offend but because they don’t have this capacity they won’t consider stopping and so when the game of this story is made this is where a cut scene appears to show the player that a billion billion cockroaches have just been disturbed by Inteachán and her fire and her talking out loud and are now falling from the roof of the cave like peals of insect rain.
Inteachán had once been to the Zoological Museum in Trinity College and among the age-eaten tusks and jarred animal organs on display she had been particularly drawn to the drawers and drawers of insects also available for perusal.
‘Orthopterous,’ said Butler as Inteachán opened a particular drawer. ‘Belonging or pertaining to the Orthoptera, an order of insects, including the cockroaches, mantids, walking sticks, crickets, grasshoppers, and katydids, characterized by leathery forewings, membranous hind wings, and chewing mouthparts.’
‘Chewing mouthparts?’ repeated Inteachán. ‘I don’t like the sound of that.’ Butler smiled and pulled her close.
‘Not something that you are ever likely to feel,’ he said as he hugged her.
The terror Inteachán was now experiencing is the special kind reserved for plagues and pestilence and other seemingly unworldly but somehow wholly natural occurrences like this sudden stridulatory squall. It is one thing to be standing and staring at a dead insect pinned to a board with a thin piece of glass between you and it but another thing absolutely entirely when the same insect is not dead and is joined by a billion billion relatives all trying to burrow inside your ears nose and mouth. A special kind of terror indeed.
When we are confronted by an insect, our natural reaction is to use our hands to wipe and swipe and flick and push away and squash the thing annoying you. Or hit it with a rolled-up newspaper. At the very least we would wave something in a bid to get the insect to go and bother someone else. A single fly, perhaps? A cloud of midges? An ant in your lunchbox? A wasp attracted to your fizzy drink? A descending ocean of cockroaches?
Inteachán began to run. She still had hold of her rucksack and she knew she had to get away. As Inteachán ran she brushed herself with her free hand, scooping the insects of out her hair and off of her face. There was nothing she could do about the hundreds of cockroaches now inside her clothes. Though the sensation was totally unendurable Inteachán kept running. It was all she could do.
The good thing was that as she carried on running Inteachán could feel the cockroaches falling off of her. The bad thing was that she had no idea where she running. In the darkness and with a slippery floor it was all she could do to keep moving. She just had to trust that the direction she was running in would lead somewhere. As they fell from the ceiling the cockroaches landed like a carapaced carpet and with every foot she placed down and every crunch that resulted from said foot Inteachán imagined she was laying waste to another wave of enemies.
As she ran Inteachán thought of other times she had run. Not always happy times; Inteachán was familiar with fear from before and now used it as a gauge to measure her fortitude by. You would think that fleeing like she was Inteachán wouldn’t have time to think about the past but those of us who have been following this remarkable child for a while now would be in no doubt that she was perfectly capable of doing anything she set her mind to. And so we aren’t surprised.
The darkness ahead seemed thicker somehow and now that her eyes has adjusted to the gloom Inteachán was able to see/sense that she was approaching one of the walls of this giant underground cave. The cockroaches continued to fall down upon her like broken clouds that had lost their hang. Inteachán figured that somewhere ahead of her the lake would have a means of flowing free of the chamber she was in. She had no way of knowing if this was going to be the case but the possibility here was something positive to focus on and in moments like this something positive is what anybody needs.
Splashing now. And slipping. But still running as the cockroach rain showed no sign of abating. Inteachán moved into slightly deeper water. She stumbled a couple of times as the water lapped around her calves and filled both boots. The thought of wet socks was another thing Inteachán blocked from her mind as she focussed on her surroundings. The water was cold. It was deeper. It was filling rapidly with cockroaches. But it was also moving. That was it! The water was moving – although flowing would be a better term to use. If the water is flowing, Inteachán reasoned, then it has to be flowing somewhere. If it is flowing somewhere then I need to follow the flow.
Buoyed by her discovery Inteachán moved with fresh purpose now. By feeling the current beneath her and listening carefully over the sound of the deluge Inteachán estimated that she was close now. She adjusted her angle slightly to position herself squarely in the rivulet she had chanced upon and slowed sufficiently to act decisively. The water beneath her began to swirl and bubble as it pooled around a certain section of the cave’s wall. Inteachán splashed on and as she did the ground fell away from her and she sank beneath the surface of the water.
Underwater once again but awake this time, Inteachán sensed that she had reached the point at which the water left the cave. She felt forward with her free hand and could feel that the current was gaining strength. She kicked her legs and the pull of the current caught her and it became stronger and stronger as she battled the swirling water and then the current pulled her again and down she went unable to stop her descent and then feet first she gained speed as the water flowed faster around her and gripped and buffeted her and pulled her towards a jagged hole that she could not see but she knew was there and then through the hole but not before she caught her face on a rock and the blood from her broken nose trailed behind her as she felt herself hurtling through and out the other side.
She was still underwater but Inteachán couldn’t hold her breath any longer because the agony of her broken nose was threatening to rip a scream out from deep within her chest but the water wasn’t done with her yet and so she hurtled further on and at this point if this was a video game then the player would have surely lost a life by now and had to reload their last saved game and start again.
But no such luxury here and so the agony continues and anyone watching would surely know that the end was nigh and Inteachán is definitely done for.
‘At least she tried,’ they would say. ‘It was a long shot and the odds were stacked against her from the moment she set out.’
‘Perhaps we’re to blame,’ someone else would say. ‘How could we have been so selfish as to hope that a small child would save anything anyway?’
But a slight curve in the flow and a sudden sandbank and Inteachán is catapulted free from the current and flung fast towards the surface where by the sheerest of sheerest luck one of the straps of her rucksack catches the edge of a rock and yanks her free from the water.
Inteachán gasped as her head broke the surface of the water. She clung to the rock and choked as she sucked air into her lungs. She coughed up water and choked again. She pulled herself slight further up the rock and coughed again. There was ledge just above her and with the final strength left in her tiny arms Inteachán reached up and gripped the edge. As she did she scrabbled with her feet and somehow managed to climb free of the water and onto the ledge. As Inteachán swung herself up her momentum caused her to overturn and catch her fractured nose on the rock. The scream finally ripped itself free from her chest.
A Christmas table groaning beneath the weight of the biggest turkey you have ever seen. All the trimmings as well. Someone singing something happy in the kitchen. The loveliest tree sits proudly in the corner bedecked in ribbons and balls. And the smell. Like everything wonderful all together. Happy faces on everyone here. Beery hugs and the rip of paper fills the air. Neighbours visiting and then everyone sits down to eat. All around the table. Mum and Dad. Aunties and Uncles. Sons. Daughters. Cousins. Pulling crackers and laughing. The doorbell chimes once more. The front door opens. Footsteps in the hallway. A small child with a broken nose stands still in the doorway screaming.
The
stones
cried
out
as
the
desert
fell
to
black
and
in
their
anguish
the
stones
returned
to
dust
Weep
not
said
the
stars
for
your
tears
are
all
as
naught
The
silence
laughed
as
its
emptiness
fell
like
foul
material
upon
the
planet’s
face.
Only
ever
never
now
and
forever
mocked
the
stars
The Third Voice
Once upon a time there was a cottage. The cottage stood on top of a hill. An old lady lived there with her daughter. Her daughter liked to paddle in the stream that gurgled beside the cottage, feeling the stones move between her toes. The old lady suffered from dreadful nightmares and cried out in her sleep, ‘Please don’t eat me, Monster.’
Kept awake by her mother’s nightmares the daughter took to reading in her bed by candlelight and as the light flickered she read about adventures in other lands. She thrilled as lost travellers found an oasis in the desert and fell to their knees to drink the refreshing water. She said to herself that one day she would travel the world, seeking out adventures. The daughter fell asleep with the book on her breast.
Later she woke with a start. The candle had gone out out and her room was as black as night. She reached out to find the candle stub but it was missing. Listening carefully, the daughter could hear voices softly whispering in the room her mother’s bedroom. There was only two people in their house so why could she hear a third voice? She listened terrified as her mother cried out in anguish ‘Please don’t eat me, Monster.’ The daughter thought she could hear the monster speaking. So troubled was she by the thought of what she was hearing that the poor daughter passed out.
The next morning it was as if nothing had happened and the mother and the daughter went about their daily business. In the afternoon, while her mother was at the stream, the daughter went into her mother’s bedroom and found five small black stones laying on the floor. They were shiny and smooth and beautiful. The daughter fancied that these were the most amazing stones that she had ever seen in her whole life. Just then her mother returned from the stream with the water so the daughter hastily went back to her own room. She lay in her bed all afternoon, cradling the stones in the palm of her hand. Just holding them made the daughter feel different somehow, marvellous even. She fell asleep with the stones in her hand.
Later the daughter woke to hear her mother dreaming again. ‘I threw them out with the dust,’ she said and began to weep. ‘Do not tell me that,’ said the third voice. ‘The stones were yours to keep safe. They shone wonderfully like the brightest stars. What did you lose them for?’ The mother began to weep louder and more violently. ‘Please give me your forgiveness, my Lord, before I flood my bed with tears.’ ‘You mortals are all the same,’ said the third voice. ‘As if I care about any of you.’ ‘If we mean but naught to you,’ said the mother, ‘then why is the night such a dread time for me?’ ‘Silence, I say,’ said the voice. ‘What a pointless sentence.’ The voice laughed as it marvelled at its own wit.
‘There is such emptiness in your soul,’ the voice continued. The old lady fell silent. The third voice continued. ‘I like you,’ it said. ‘I like the way that you let me spoil your sleep each night, with my foul and angry ways.’ The voice grew louder and the listening daughter gripped her blankets, pulling the material tight between her fingers. She hid, lest the monster fall upon her with the full vent of its fury. ‘I am raging now,’ shouted the third voice. ‘None so moved as me will ever stride this planet’s paths again. The daughter pulled her blanket up until it covered her face entirely. ‘You are not only person in this cottage, are you?’ asked the third voice. ‘I know all there is to know about you and your ever-thieving daughter.’ The daughter feared she would never see the next morning now. ‘Oh, why did I find those stones and fall asleep with them in my hand? Will I regret this moment forever more?’
But then the daughter found courage deep inside her, a courage that she had never known existed until that moment. She climbed out of her bed and went into her mother’s room. ‘Are these what you are looking for?’ she asked. The old lady drew strength from her daughter’s strength and she mocked the third voice. ‘Have you lost your voice?’ she asked but the third voice did not reply this time. Nor ever again.
And now each night the mother and daughter sleep peacefully and have never heard the third voice ever again. But what of the stones, I hear you ask? The daughter threw them back into the stream where all five shone briefly just like the brightest stars ever seen before fading from sight forever.
The stones cried out as the desert fell to black and in their anguish the stones returned to dust. Weep not said the stars for your tears are all as naught. The silence laughed as its emptiness fell like foul material upon the planet’s face. Only ever never now and forever mocked the stars.
The stones cried out as the desert fell to black and in their anguish the stones returned to dust. Weep not said the stars for your tears are all as naught. The silence laughed as it’s emptiness fell like foul material upon the planet’s face. Only ever never now and forever mocked the sta
The stones cried out as the desert fell to black and in their anguish the stones returned to dust. Weep not said the stars for your tears are all as naught. The silence laughed as its emptiness fell like foul material upon the planet’s face. Only ever never now and forever mocked the stars.
The stones cried out as the desert fell to black and in their anguish the stones returned to dust. Weep not said the stars for your tears are all as naught. The silence laughed as it’s emptiness fell like foul material upon the planet’s face. Only ever never now and forever mocked the stars.
The stones cried out as the desert fell to black and in their anguish the stones returned to dust. Weep not said the stars for your tears are all as naught. The silence laughed as its emptiness fell like foul material upon the planet’s face. Only ever never now and forever mocked the stars.
The stones cried out as the desert fell to black and in their anguish the stones returned to dust. Weep not said the stars for your tears are all as naught. The silence laughed as it’s emptiness fell like foul material upon the planet’s face. Only ever never now and forever. mocked the stars.
The NotBeSpeak fell to Earth.
You are all naught laughed the stars.
Cried the people forever.
ONLY NOT EVER THAT I BEG BUT THEY DO NOT LISTEN THEY LAUGH AND WHISPER AMONG THEMSELVES I HEAR THEM PLOT AND PLAN AND THEN THEY TELL ME THAT I AM THERES AND THAT THEY SAW ME IN THE LIGHT AND CHOSE ME FOR THERE DARK CHOSE ME TO BE THERE DARKNESS CHOOSE ME TO CHAMPION AND IMPACT THE WORLD WITH THERE AFFAIR AND MAKE ALL SEE THAT THEY ARE WHAT THE WORLD NOW NEEDS AND DESERVES AND CRAVES BUT I CANNOT SAY FOR SURE THAT THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR I KNOW THAT THEY ARE THE DARK AND THE ROT AND THE DEATH AND THE CHILL THEY ARE THE PESTILENTIAL FUTURE OF THIS SYSTEM
- 9. 33. 70. 126. 328. 4.
- In the to
these The NotBeSpeak
A You stars
- From to to Cried
The the naught the
To the NotBeSpeak. Stars.
- No one
Along this The but I,
This laughed to.
- In the to NotBeSpeak
No stars can You
How soon it must The.
- Don’t to, You
forever, laughed,
Must The.
- to Cried
As Cried who fell You
And people.
- NotBeSpeak the naught
Cried, forever forever in
with no Cried to You
I RECALL THE DIM AND DARKNESS DANK DIM AND DANKNESS DARK I RECALL WHEN THEIR SHADOW FALLS ACROSS AND PAST I HEAR THE SHUDDER VIOLENTLY AND FEEL THE FLAME THAT NO LONGER FLICKERS I LAST JUST LONG AND NOT NO MORE IN ONLY ONE OF THIS OCCASIONS CAN THE FUEL LAST LONGER THAN IT SHOULD ONLY SPUTTER SPIT AND FLICKER FAST THEY CAN HEAR AND CALL AND ALLOW ME TO SAY BECAUSE WHAT IS TO PASS IS TO PASS ANYWAY AND ONLY NOW WILL THE THEN AND THE THIS ALIGN WITH THE THAT TO COME AGAIN SPEAK AGAIN SPEAK QUIETER NOW NOT WHISPER ONLY HEAR WHEN SPOKE BUT ROAR SHUT SHOUT CAN’T HELP ONE HAND CUPPED SO LOUD SO OH SO LOUDLY LOUD AND I SMALL BEFORE THE DIN FROM THERE AND PITY PITY PAIN POOR PITY PAIN SCREAM DIN DESCEND AND STAY ALL TIME NO ROOM NO HOPE NO SPACE ALL NOISE NOW ALWAYS AND FOREVER ALWAYS MORE AMEN THAT GIRL THEY SPEAK SHE THINK HE KNOWS ALL BUT THAT GIRL IS NOT THE ONE SHE CANNOT STOP THEY WISH HER TO BE KNOWN AND ENDED BUT NEVER CANNOT WON’T NO ABRAHAM NO BURNING BUSH BUT THEY PERSIST YOU MUST THEY TELL YOU MUST END HER YOU MUST THEY SAY AGAIN YOU MUST REALLY MUST NOTHING CAN BE IN OUR WAY NOTHING MUST HINDER BUT I WHISPER NO PLUS PLEAD AND BEG PLEASE NO NOT THAT GIRL SHE DOES NOT KNOW AND WILL NOT STOP BUT THEY KEEP ALL DAY AND NIGHT TELL ME IN MY EAR AND THEY SAY YOU MUST SHE IS EVIL AND WILL END THE WORLD SHE WILL MAKE US LEAVE BEFORE WE GET HERE ALL DAY THEY SAY AND ALL NIGHT ALL TIME IN MY EAR LINGER I TRY TO SPEAK BUT THEY DON’T WANT MY WORDS YOUR WORDS NO USE WE NEED YOU ACTIONS YOU MUST THEY SAY BUT I CANNOT AS SHE IS MINE I SAY AND NOT YOURS SHE IS MINE AND MINE FOREVER I CANNOT DO WHAT YOU ASK BUT YOU CAN THEY SAY AND YOU WILL IT IS EASY YOU MUST IT IS EASY DO NOT THINK JUST DO AND THEN WE BE PLEASED WITH YOU BUT I CANNOT AND THEY ASK ALL DAY AND NIGHT IN MY NOSTRILS LIKE SMOKE LIKE STENCH LIKE ALL BAD THINGS AND THOUGHTS AND GET NOT OUT BUT STAY AND TAUNT AND ASK ME THE THING I CANNOT DO AND WILL NOT DO EVER NOT EVER THIS WILL NOT BE THE THING ID DO FOR YOU AND THEN THEY ASK AGAIN PATIENT NOW YOU MUST THEY SAY BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU AND WANT YOU TO BE WELL AND WE CAN HELP YOU BUT YOU MUST HELP US FIRST AND I TELL THEN I WANT TO HELP BUT CANNOT HELP AND THEY SAY THAT IF YOU WANT HELP THEN YOU MUST AND I SAY NO NO NO THEY KNOW EVERYTHING AND TELL ME THAT WE WILL BE FINE THEY ONLY WANT TO BE AMONG US BUT I DON’T WANT THEM TO BE AMONG US WE ARE STARS THEY SAY AND WE WANT TO SHINE FOR YOU ALL BUT YOU ARE NOT STARS I SAY YOU ARE BLACK HOLES AND WILL DRAIN THE LIFE FROM THE WORLD LEAVING DARKNESS WHERE LIGHT ONCE WAS NO NOT US THEY SAY WE ARE THE WAY FORWARD WE WILL END FAMINE AND DISEASE NO MORE DEATH ONLY ALWAYS LIFE BUT YOU CANNOT OFFER THAT I SAY YOU CANNOT PROMISE SUCH A THING BUT THEY PERSIST AND KEEP AT ME MORE AND THEY ASK AND THEY ASK AND THEY ASK AND THEY ASK AND THE SOUND OF THEIR VOICES IS A BITTER TASTE ON MY TONGUE LIKE MY SWALLOW IS ALL ASH AND I SAY AGAIN NOT ME NOT THAT NOT HER NOT ASK ME THAT FOR I CAN NOT DO IT BUT SIMPLE EASY SAY THEY ALL EASY JUST DO THE THING AND DON’T THINK ANY MORE LET US COME ACROSS AND SHARE OURSELVES WITH YOU ALL AND BE THE LIGHT THAT LEADS THEY WAY BUT YOU NOT LIGHT I TELL THEM YOU NOT LIGHT NOT LIGHT BUT DARK ALL DARK ALL NOTHING AND THE SILENCE BUT WE ARE LIGHT THEY SAY WE WILL BE THE ONES TO MAKE YOU ALL WHAT YOU SHOULD BE NOT WHAT YOU ARE YOU ARE WEAK AND BASE AND POINTLESS AND WE CAN CHANGE THIS THINGS THEY SAY BUT NOT YOU NOT THAT I CANNOT I HAVE SAID I CANNOT AND I WILL NOT YOU CAN AND YOU WILL THEY TELL YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN AND SO IT IS THAT YOU MUST BUT I CANNOT AND THAT IS MY FINAL WORD BUT IT ISN’T THEY TELL ME IT ISN’T YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO BE SO CERTAIN YOU WILL DO WHAT WE SAY YOU WILL YOU MUST BUY THE DAGGER THEY SAY THE SHINING DAGGER AND DROP IT IN THE DARK ONE ACT WILL SAVE THE WORLD ONE SACRIFICE A SMALL PRICE TO PAY BUT I CANNOT I SAID BUT I BOUGHT THE KNIFE AND IT SHONE LIKE THE MOON THE WONDROUS MOON I POLISH AND CRADLE AND HOLD IT AND THEY TELL ME BE BRAVE BE STRONG BE BOLD AND I AM I SAY I TRULY AM AND THEY SAY WE KNOW WE LOVE WE TRUST YOU YOU ARE THE ONE FOR WHOM WE HOLD THE HIGH REGARD WE VALUE YOUR SERVICE AND KNOW YOU WILL DO OUR BIDDING SO RAISE THE KNIFE AND MAKE THE SACRIFICE I WILL I SAY BUT WHAT AM I SAYING WHAT CAN I EVER BE THINKING I CANNOT DO YOUR WISH SHE IS MY CHILD NOT YOURS SHE IS MY LIGHT MY HOPE MY PRECIOUS THING MY FRUIT YOU CANNOT HAVE HER SHE IS NOT YOURS TO TAKE SHE IS MINE TO KEEP AND SAVE BUT THEY WHISPER AND NAG AND MOAN AND KEEN ALL NIGHT I CANNOT SLEEP ANY MORE I CANNOT HEAR I CANNOT THINK ALL IS THEM AND THEIR VOICES AND ALL THEIR VOICES ARE LOUDER NOW MUCH LOUDER I AM DEAFENED BY THEIR SONG THEIR SHOUT THE SOUND OF THEIR ABOMINABLE ADMONITIONS THEY GIVE ME NO PEACE NOW WE ARE ANGRY WITH YOU THEY SAY AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE EVER AGAIN YOU WILL NEVER KNOW EASE AND JOY ONLY ALWAYS HARDSHIP AND SUFFERING ONLY EVER AGONY YOU WILL BE LIKE ALL THE OTHERS THEY SAY YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL YOU ARE NOT CHOSEN YOU ARE THE SAME AS ALL THE OTHER WORMS TO CRUSH YOUR FLESH TO BE PECKED BY GREEDY CROWS YOUR SKIN TO FLAP IN THE FREEZING WIND FOR WE ARE THE DESOLATION THAT WILL VISIT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND MAKE YOU WISH THAT YOU HAD HELPED AND NOT BE A DISAPPOINTMENT A PROPER DISGRACEFUL DISAPPOINTMENT WE WHO REVEALED OURSELVES TO YOU CHOSE YOU TO BE THE ONE TO WHOM WE APPEARED WE HAVE GIVEN YOU OUR TIME AND ATTENTION AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US WITH YOUR POINTLESSNESS WORTHLESS AMOEBA I AM NOT WORTHLESS I AM FULL OF THE SAME I DO NOT DISAPPOINT YOU I THANK FOR YOU FOR CHOOSING ME YOU MADE ME THE OBJECT OF YOUR ATTENTION AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS BUT NOW YOU SAY I DO NOT MATTER AND I DO AND I CAN AND I WILL IT WILL BE MY LIFE’S WORK TO RAISE YOU UP AND OUT YOU AHEAD OF THE WORLD INCLUDING HER YOU WILL BE MY EVERYTHING AND MY ALL YOU WILL BE WHERE I NEED TO LOOK FOR SUCCOR IT IS ONLY YOU THEN DO WHAT WE ASK THEY TELL ME SHOW US THAT YOU CAN REGAIN OUR AFFECTION CRINGE BEFORE US AND BEG FOR OUR FORGIVENESS PLEASE FORGIVE ME PLEASE PLEASE I BEG YOU DO NOT SEND ME AWAY DO YOU LEAVE ME ALONE YOU WHO HAVE FOUND ME HAVE CHOSEN ME I WANT TO DO YOUR BIDDING PLEASE LET ME KILL HER FOR YOU PLEASE ACCEPT HER AS MY SACRIFICE MY GIFT TO YOU
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BARNABY TAYLOR: Curiosity is Currency 