‘I don’t know what I want with you yet,’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft to the General Assembly of the United Nations. ‘You brought me here and I haven’t had time to formulate a plan.’

All languages at once are heard true in his ear. Only the world cannot hear each other.

‘You gathered people are right to be afraid because it was a terrible idea to wake me up and get me here from there. A terrible idea.’

The Assembly have no words.

‘I will take petitions like a king from old. You may visit me in my court. I will accept tributes of all and every kind. I will read four letters a day but only if they are handwritten. Be there in person and be prepared to wait for a long time.’

Jodocus Meaddowcraft turns to leave.

‘I warn you though,’ he says over his shoulder. ‘I cannot ever be fair.’

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