Even though she wouldn’t be too sure of the word itself, Deirdre was supremely confident that she had designed the best stage costumes ever.

Doodah will start the show dressed as electric scarecrows on stilts. The straw sticking out of their sleeves and hats will pulse different fluorescent colours in time to the music.

Doodah’s sixteen backing dancers will be dressed as tie-dye unicorns complete with horns that spin and fire thick blue laser beams into the night sky. These laser beams will interact to wondrous kaleidoscopic effect with the trillions of metallic snowflakes that will be dropped onto the concert by an armada of low-flying heavy bombers, leased by the record company especially for the purpose.

To prevent any unfortunate incidents, Panic Town and its immediate vicinity had been designated as a no-fly zone for the next three and a half hours and all aircraft had been re-routed. Squadrons of employees from the Panic Town Zoo have spent the last two months relocating indigenous sea birds in preparation for the concert.

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