If robots, treacherous or not, don’t work for you then perhaps you would prefer a brain-searingly intelligent android. You know, the kind that is always philosophical in their outlook and vaguely sympathetic towards the plight of the obviously inferior human race that they are nevertheless duty-bound to serve without question.

Whilst androids like this might get a little agitated sometimes – and occasionally end up breaking things or themselves – they tend to calm down in the end and go back to adopting the role of the benevolent guardian. It is highly unlikely that they would ever sell the whole human race for scrap.

If an android doesn’t really work for you, then you might be the kind of person who prefers synthetic people whose real tragedy is the fact that they will never be properly human, however hard they secretly pine and moon.

Despite their broken synthetic hearts, these artificial people still manage to nobly provide the world with an amazing service and are always seemingly at their happiest when they are doing complicated scientific things for little or no real reward in the face of very real danger.

At the danger of building you all up only to have to knock you all down, I am sorry to have to tell you that the robots in this story are the most irritating and hateful non-human things to ever trouble the pages of a story.

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